My mind has been rejuvenated! With the free time I’ve somehow seem to find these days, (which is quite hard may I add 😊) I’ve reflected and contemplated my relationship position. I’ve finally figured it out so to speak. I am working on changing a few characteristics within myself, as they are not a direct reflection of the person I want to become. But as well, I now know what may have led to my current relationship status. In the future any form of relationship I’m in must contain the following three characteristics.
Self-sufficiency, emotional health and responsibility for your own emotions is key. It is important for me to have someone who takes responsibility for their own emotions, and communicates his needs calmly and plainly. Someone who deals with everyday setbacks without flailing or misplacing anger, someone who follows through on what they promised to do and lastly someone who takes responsibility for his mistakes.
Respect and trust fall under the same umbrella for me. Respect in a relationship is reflected in how we treat each other on a daily basis. I need a person that listens, who is willing to compromise, someone who will build me up, and respect my boundaries whatever they may be. While trust is merely the faith that someone will be loyal during the duration of our relationship. For me trust similarly is a display of comfortability. Can I rely on you? Am I comfortable confiding in you? If I do not feel physically and emotionally safe…there is no relationship.
Lastly, but still mainly important is communication. Communication is one of the key components to any relationship. I’ve learned the hard way that being in a non-communicative relationship gets messy. You begin to harbor feelings and emotions until one or both of you erupt…not what anyone should want right? Being with someone who openly communicates is really important, but it’s also important to be with someone who allows me to openly communicate without feeling frightful, or distressed due to how they will receive the information. It is important to listen for understanding and not solely to listen to respond. Hear what I’m saying. You don’t necessarily have to act on it, you may not even agree. But we must be able to communicate that as well.
Relationships are not easy. When two people come together they must really work simultaneously to keep the relationship connected IF that is what both parties want. I always thought “I don’t want much, I just want simple things” but to some people simple things can be a lot. While I’m definitely not in the market, these characteristics are holding steady at the top of my list.
-Latoya