Toya Talks Tuesday: Idle Thoughts

When I can’t sleep I write………

Its fair to say that the when you procreate you never plan to care for the child alone. As adults, we know that it takes two individuals to create children, so how can we not understand that it will take those same two people to create a nurturing environment for that child. As women, we are often times the ones who lose out on so much when we have children. This is not only because we carry the child therefore losing 9 months of our life but we are also the more nurturing out of the male/female species so we are more likely to give up our life to support our child.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing more majestic than to carry a child inside of you. You have no idea how mind boggling it is to when you put it into perspective that you’re growing a human being inside of you. The connection that you will form with someone you haven’t even laid eyes on yet will completely captivate you. It deeply saddens me that not all women are unable to conceive, every woman should experience childbirth it is compelling.

Some days I’m extremely tired. I go to sleep, I often wake in the wee hours of the morning, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, sometimes scrolling social media sleep evades me. I’m tired my mind is thinking about what I have to do the next day, what expenses we have for the week/month. It’s difficult, without the support system I have I’m not sure where I would be. I’m grateful for the help that I receive, the time others take out of their day to help me make it through the day.

Letting go, realizing your worth, settling when you deserve more. Working towards goals and educational gains. Moving on, and growing up. Building bridges and moving mountains. Providing a nurturing environment for my children, and making sure they are confident and fulfilled.

These are the Idle Thoughts that are holding my brain hostage, preventing me from expressing myself. Molding me into a person filled with anxiety and tension struggling to break free from the curse of myself. The cycle never ends.

God’s Plan His Will. His Way. My Faith.  – Jeremiah 29:11

 

*Please forgive the unorthodox arrangement of this post. I usually free write in a journal when I have a lot of jumbled thoughts controlling the brain. This time I decided to share them. Until next time.

 

-Latoya

 

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I’m 30 years old. I have loved writing since I was 12 years old. Writing poetry was my favorite pastime that eventually turned into me drafting a short story that I never showed anyone by the way. I started Latoyatalks as a way to begin my blogging journey. I’ve always wanted to write about my personal experiences, and to give advice to others surrounding education and beauty. These are all topics I enjoy and feel connected to. In the future I hope to grow latoyatalks to a website where people can come to find awesome advice, read some compelling stories about my life experiences that hopefully they take something from. Also to help families understand different techniques to educate and care for their family. While also touching base on my favorite beauty and fashion trends! - Latoya

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